Reflections on 7 1/2 Habits

For me, the easiest "habit of lifelong learning" is, by far, playing. When I was in high school and taking American Sign Language as my 2-year language, we would often play a head-to-head team game to practice our vocabulary. We would break into two teams and line up in front of our teacher, who stood at the front of the room. She would sign the word or concept to the two people immediately in front of her, and whichever team's player said the answer first got a point. I loved the game.

To indicate that you want to play a game, you sign PLAY + GAME. "Play" is signed by shaking both hands in the "Y" shape at about chest level. "Game" is signed by making thumbs-up signs with both hands and knocking your fists together at the knuckles.

We had a very informal class--and we were only allowed to sign--so whenever our teacher paused from her lesson and looked as though she was trying to think of what to do at that moment, I would wave my hand for her attention and signed PLAY + GAME. Seriously, I did it all the time. In fact, that was how I finally got my "name sign." My name sign is a "D" (for Devon), shaken at chest height--inspired directly by PLAY. Whenever I introduced myself, I'd include the explanation: MY + NAME + "Devon." WHY(t) + ME + LIKE + PLAY + GAME(nod). "Devon" + PLAY. One could say that, as far as learning Sign Language went, "Devon" was synonymous with "play," and so I don't think it's at all surprising that I think the easiest thing of the 7 1/2 habits is remembering to play. I play all the time. For me, things aren't worth doing if they're not fun, and I tend to make fun for myself, even in boring situations.

The second easiest thing for me (I imagine I ought to have a second, since "playing" was really only half a habit...) is #2, accepting responsibility for my own learning. In college, I don't think I ever skipped a class because I just didn't want to go. I missed a couple of classes freshman year when I was sick with H. flu and strep agalactiae, and then I missed one junior year when I had my first case of heartburn (from a medication given to me by the psychos in health services) and literally thought I was dying, and I missed one or two of the classes I was auditing senior year--but I never just skipped for the hell of it. Furthermore, I went back to Bard after the fiasco of my sophomore year!!! I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I hated the students and I hated the administration, but I loved my professors and I loved my classes; I wasn't in school to socialize or to rub elbows with the administratii, I was there to learn, and I couldn't imagine a better place to get an education. I knew what it would take to return, and I'd be damned if I didn't take it into my own hands and do it. I'm very self-reliant as it is (because, after all, you can't really trust anyone but yourself, can you?), and so recognizing that education and learning is my own responsibility just comes naturally to me.

Now, the hardest thing for me among the habits is probably #4, having confidence in myself. With self-reliance comes a great deal of self-doubt. I literally am my own worst critic. When I began high school, I suffered a terrible spell of feelings of inadequacy, and I think I have finally plateaued at an uncomfortable level of sheer adequacy. I no longer feel stupider than others, but I also no longer have the confidence that I once had that I could master anything in enough time. I'm just not a masterer. I'm one of those people who knows a little about a lot, but I know that I'll never be the best at anything. It's kind of discouraging, disheartening. Therefore, it's very difficult for me to have confidence in myself as a competent lifelong learner. Furthermore, I was trying to teach myself Greek a year ago, and I couldn't even figure out how to pronounce "gamma"!!! I asked for the Rosetta Stone language materials for Christmas, but I haven't even opened them yet. (The truth is, I want to make sure that I use them on a computer with enough memory to support the software, and I think my parents have done terrible things to our home desktop, and my laptop is so old that its hard drive is probably going to crash in the next six months, so I don't want to risk installing anything of such gravity as Rosetta Stone on it right now. But still--haven't done it.) The point is, instead of going on to practice the rest of the alphabet, I stopped at gamma because I didn't think I had it in me to learn anything else if I couldn't even get past the third letter of the alphabet.

At any rate, I think I am a lifelong learner. I'm always trying new things out, and even though my memory isn't so great, I love whenever I can pick up a new skill. In considering graduate schools, I've been looking not only at programs that will enhance what I already know but also at programs that will fill in the gaps where there are still things I want to know.

And here's something I guess I'm curious to know... why did Fran refer to the video as "the second thing" and not the third? Also, why do we have to watch these videos, when there's nothing special about the video format that we couldn't have picked up with simple voiceover? I feel awkward trying to watch these "videos."